Now I've seen everything. A beauty spa where mothers can obtain all manner of therapies whilst their babies and toddlers are looked after in a creche. Sounds like heaven I suppose if you are an exhausted mother with no time for anything but cooking, cleaning and nappies. But in reality I don't know a lot of my friends with children who would be able to afford the luxury of getting a massage with childcare thrown in.
Me. I just want a bloody job. I'm so envious of all those working mothers at school looking so slick in their very un-mumsy clothes. About to swan off in their own cars, listening to music of their choice. Or reading the paper on the train or even just walking along at their own pace without having to retrieve a thrown dummy, toy or blanket every few steps. But then again they are probably all sitting in offices looking out on a sunny day wishing they were at the park. Or having a raucous coffee with other mums, toddlers in tow and moaning about the usual plethora of parenting dislikes - mess, sleep deprivation, eating and bedtime.
A modern parenting annoyance is too much television or related electronic devices. The problem is we invented these bloody machines, then gave the technology to our children to keep them quite for five minutes. Now everybody is getting angry because the little blighters won't give it up. I know the feeling because I went through a Lara Croft phase back in the day when you inserted the CD into your computer and used my gigantic keyboard to make Lara hop, skip and jump through all sorts of adventurous and literally bloody violence.
On any given night you can hear me becoming annoyed as the dinner hour approaches: "Henry! Dinner! Now" and Henry (equally annoyed) "One minute! I'm in the middle of this game...Oh now you made me lose..."
Now where is the phone number for Pamper & Play....
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