Future Music Festival

Went to a Music Festival.  It was nothing like Glastonbury unfortunately.  The Chav/Bogans who turned up should have been told that denim shorts showing much bottom for the ladies and singlets with logos for the gentlemen are so passé.  It was OK.  Things I did not like:

1.  No wine, sparkling or otherwise.  Instead we were offered only canned pre-mixed drinks.  Yuk.

2.  Seven stages of dance music/DJs or live artists - all completely the same!  No variation whatsoever.

3.  No ambient tent/stage.

4.  34 degree heat and not much shade.  Not very well thought out by the organisers.  People were being carried off everywhere by ambulance workers.  But perhaps they sniffed something they should not have.

5.  The price - a whopping $170 for what?  So-called International DJs and bloody Pharrell Williams (more of him later in the blog).

Things I liked:

1.  Hanging out with Karolina and Jo - thanks girls!

2.  Tinie Tempah.  Fantastic stuff.

There is something very odd indeed about drinking a G&T at one in the afternoon in the baking sun and listening to dance music.  It is meant to be like you are at a club. But you are not.  You are at Flemington Racecourse trying to find some kind of ambience or atmosphere, and hopelessly despairing at the lack of creative genius as well as any kind of dress sense.  Kate Moss and her little dresses and wellington boots with bohemian plaited hair are another universe away (and 24 hours as well as completely the wrong season).

We had lovely greetings from the DJs/live acts "Welcome fucking Melbourians!  You mother-fuckers!  You are fucking awesome!  Fuck me!  Yeah!"  And then they would pretend to sing.  How inspiring - it turns out they know how to swear and everything.

Poor old Pharrell Williams must have thought 30 minutes of work was 30 minutes too long.  He couldn't sing, couldn't perform and could not muster any kind of stage presence.  What a disaster.  His backing track sounded so much better than he did, and the audience knew the lyrics - so he did even less.  Perhaps he should have been having a cup of tea somewhere and then the price of the tickets would have been about seventy dollars less for the rest of us who really didn't give a fuck.  Look I can swear too!  Perhaps I will take up DJing…..