Poker Face

Does anyone else get emails from Heathrow Airport?  No I thought not, just me then.  Very strange that they always seems to think I want to hang out in their airport.  They try and colour the emails with pictures of happy, smiling people going about their business at Heathrow.  I think that if I was going to Heathrow, it would be for the end destination really, not just to shop and have a coffee at the bloody airport.

I also get emails from "100 Black Men".  They always want me to join their marches and read their leaflets.  Fair enough.

"The Ukelele Orchestra of Great Britain" are constantly sending me emails about their gigs.  And ironically I always get emails from Financial Institutions who are under the impression that I actually know what a P&L sheet looks like.

Going to a Girl's Poker Night on Saturday night.  Will try and illustrate my next blog with a photo of me totally trashed with a giant cigar in a seedy-looking smoky room full of hookers.  No?  Really?  That's obviously a Boy's Poker Night.  This will be a bunch of well-dressed middle-class ladies (mums really) eager to get out of the bedtime ritual and sipping lovely cocktails.

It is true about the cigars though.  I was slightly concerned about how high the gambling stakes would be, given the demographic of Camberwell.  And me with my mummy/dancer income - I mean one cancels out the other really.  Then I found out we would be gambling with Lego.  Seriously - Lego.

I'm just going to have to go and sort these girls out on Saturday night - Oxford style.  I'm thinking Sharon Stone circa Basic Instinct (frightening really) and the very savvy Daniel Craig as 007 in Casino Royale.

Multi-tasking

The other night I was cooking dinner whilst making up that evening's Hip Hop routine (if only they knew!).  I was singing along to Lil' Kim's Lighter's Up and Rufus wanted to know what the song was about.  "You know when you're at a gig Rufus, and you're all singing the tune and the crowd puts their lighter's up in the air (and wave your arms like you just don't care...)"  He looked at me blankly.

While this was going on I was helping Henry with another task and every now and then had to run outside and kick the ball with Jonty otherwise I hear "MA! BALL!" constantly.  At the same time I was cleaning out lunch boxes and putting another load of washing on, emptying the dishwasher and ensuring the house was tip top.  Why?  Because The Accountant comes home early on a Thursday so I can go out and earn my keep dancing around to Lil' Kim.  I was also hosting a morning tea the following day and did not want to wake up to the usual disaster area after my night out working.

Everyone makes jokes about women multi-tasking.  But I'm not totally convinced that it is a talent of the fairer sex or just plain necessity that has us running from one thing to the next, wooden spoon in one hand, laptop in the other and yoga kit in the bag and ready to run for the door should the opportunity arise.  It also explains why I often hear the male members of yoga classes snoring away in the relaxation period at the end of the class.  I find it a very useful time to go through My List, every now and then trying to bring myself back to the present and breathing (it's always the breathing...) but really I'm thinking about the fact the Rufus' school uniform is dirty and can no way be clean and dry in time for the morning.

I received a very threatening and aggressive email from Rufus' gymnastics club regarding the late payment of Term 2 fees.  Don't bother paying them now, they smugly stated, you probably won't have a place anymore. And don't bother turning up either as we will have worked our way down the long waiting list blah blah blah.  What the ?  Why don't they just shine a light in my eyes and ask my whereabouts last Monday at 3:25am?  Who are these people anyway? MI6 might need these administrative skills in London.

Anyway I know some people, who know some people who might go in there and and do some finger pointing and middle-naming so don't worry I've got it sorted.

Hot Honey and Lemon

Which would you rather?  Sitting in a stuffy office with people you do not particularly like - or pushing this little one on the swing on a sunny day?  Yes of course I have my ups and downs ("Henry get OFF the top of the washing line" "WHO unrolled all of these toilet rolls...." "Jonty! Get your finger out of my lipstick" etc etc etc....), but on the whole I am aiming for a bit of mummy and a bit of Nickely.

Parents are always in a race to get some "me" time.  The Accountant would like to have time to himself for most of the day, and indeed he is always snatching cheeky little moments of isolation.  However, I like to get things done and then relax after the children have gone to bed.  So you can imagine what a nasty surprise it is when I finally put my cup of tea on the bedside table and open to covers only to find a small child grinning up at me.  The idea of booking myself into a hotel for a night suddenly becomes very appealing.....

Meanwhile here are a few of my favourite things from the Easter break:

• Easter Egg hunts - all six of them!
• Going to the beach and swimming in the pool in Queensland
• Not making dinner every night (thanks Russell!)
• Reading Harry Potter - again.
• Coming home to all of my lovely female in-laws (clean house, cheerful cups of tea, childcare, children playing nicely together).
• Meeting up with our niece Jasmin today - aged 17 and absolutely rocking a leather jacket, jeans, bronze top and boots in Degrave Place for lunch.
• Eating a gluten, dairy and vegan free lunch and it was bloody delicious!

Things that were not so good:

• Everyone except Henry got sick as soon as the holiday started.
• Jonty on the airplane with ear and throat infection, Rufus and I with colds - sore ears!
• My aim on holiday was to give myself a pedicure and nice new nail polish.  I came home with chipped, un-manicured toes with bits of bright yellow nail polish from weeks ago.  Not a good look in strappy sandals and flip flops.