The Accountant and I had a one-night opportunity whilst The Grandparents No. 1 were here to go away. No dinner to cook. No nappies to change. No chasing children around the house at bedtime. A friend has a lovely B&B in a place called Mount Martha. The funny thing is - there is no mountain, more of a molehill (ha!), but there is a lovely view of the sea.
We had champagne (some of us had a little too much), spa bath, dinner and quiet time. We could not get my iPod to work. The Accountant only has two songs on his iPhone and one of them is Eye of the Tiger. So we chatted in the moonlight whist Neil Diamond blared from the stereo.
Since I have been back in Melbourne I have had the flu. Today whilst Jonty had an afternoon nap I thought I would do the same as the headache, sore throat and chills were getting the better of me.
Jesus! The incessant noise of gardening machinery from across the road was deafening. Even with a pillow over my head I could make out that four different machines were operating at the same time. If we lived in a less salubrious suburb it would be quieter as these rich folk can afford to have four gardeners working at the same time.
It was two houses at once. The most annoying people in the street. "The Flanders" we call them - as they resemble Homer Simpson's Christian neighbours both in tone and character - "HI NEIGHBOUR! Hey diddly Ho!". And also Mr Obsessive Compulsive. If one tiny leaf flutters on to the driveway, Mr OCD has to get out The Leaf Blower. The single most annoying gardening instrument ever made.
I say let nature be natural. Let the leaves fall, let the grass grow and, god forbid, let those bloody hedges grow in a normal un-box like manner. Otherwise as a formal protest I will go out in my natural state with a daisy-chain around my head singing appropriate folk songs from yore.
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